with Tags: coactive X
Jeffj2 060000A6C9 Tags:  communications coactive emoticons listening coaching 5 Comments 1,937 Visits
Let's talk about listening. Situation: You are in a conference room or on a conference call. How are you listening to what is going on?
There are three levels of listening:
Level 1: Your attention is on you. This is where you are listening to all those wonderful voices in your head saying:
"She's wearing that? I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit. I wonder where she gets her clothes. Look at that haircut. Wait, when is my next appointment? Do I need to color my roots again?" or:
"This presentation again? Who does he think he is? I could have coded it in a fraction of the time that he is talking about it. Wait, am I going to get a todo from this? How will I get that done too with the other things on my plate?"
Note: These voices (or Gremlins/Saboteurs) are often much more critical than what is verbally spoken.
Level 2: Your attention is on the speaker/presenter/other person:
The experiment here is to close your laptop during the conference call and really listen to what the speaker is saying. You may drift into Level 1 thinking as you process what is being said, but by not multiplexing during the call; see how much more you pick up from the presentation/call.
Level 3: Your attention is focused on the energy of the call.
You are on a call, and someone says something extremely controversial. This is where "you could have heard a pin drop". That is the energy or Level 3 of the call. Where/When else do you pick up on the call energy?
So that's a summary of verbal listening. Since 90% of communication is visual (i.e. it is a lot easier to "hear" what is going on when you are in the conference room, versus being on the phone), how does listening extend to written format?
Let's look at a sametime example and how the use of emoticons helps convey the proper meaning of the written word.
Example #1: "Gee boss, thanks for the whoppertunity". Without an emoticon, you cannot fully "listen" to the context that was intended.
Example #2: "Gee boss, thanks for the whoppertunity". This emoticon helps us understand that the person is not overly pleased with this whoppertunity.
Example #3: "Gee boss, thanks for the whoppertunity".
This emoticon helps us understand that the person is thankful for this whoppertunity. So, same text in all examples, but more meaning conveyed by emoticons.
So, thanks for listening on this journey. What are your thoughts on better listening and tools of the trade?
Until next time,
Jeffj2 060000A6C9 Tags:  professionals coaching creativity leader coactive it management parenting 2,126 Visits
Another tenant in the Co-active Coaching model is that people are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. Let's break this down.
"Naturally Creative"- IT Professionals are among the most creative in thinking and coming up with uncommon solutions for common problems.
"Resourceful" - A developer or IT professional understands the resources that they have on hand, and what they will need to complete a task or assignment.
"Whole" - The IT professional is not busted nor broken. They do not need to be fixed or rescued; but to be set free, encouraged, nurtured and released to their maximum potential.
I am fortunate to lead a team of outstanding people that are extraordinarily creative, resourceful and whole. As a manager, I love to bring situations to the team and allow for the brainstorming to begin on potential solutions. By utilizing this method, solutions that I could never have thought of on my own are germinated and tested. A side effect of allowing this method is that there is more instantaneous buy-in to the solution (since it was not dictated by the pointy haired boss).
As leaders, where have you allowed your team to come up with the solutions? What worked well? What didn't work well?
As parents, where have you allowed your kids to come up with the solutions. (I know at school, the teachers can tell the outfits Shannon's mom picks out, Shannon picks out, and I pick out. Guess who has the worse fashion sense?). We have one non-negotiable in our household.....safety. So, Shannon can pick out any outfit as long as it doesn't contain the plastic high heels that she keeps twisting her angle on (safety issue). The result, since Shannon picked out the outfit, she is bought into it.
So, how will you see your clients, customers, peers, managers, teams, and family as naturally creative, resourceful and whole?
Thanks for reading. Comments always welcome.
Jeffj2 060000A6C9 Tags:  coaching community feedback coactive communication perspective 3 Comments 2,309 Visits
This is my very first blog post as I start my official entry into the community arena. Please bear with me as I learn the in's and out's of blogging.
First, a little background on me. I became a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach in November 2007. I have used these coaching techniques with my employees, peers, management and family. My 5 year old daughter now uses the techniques back with me. So, they can be extended universally. It opens the lines of communication with all you interact with. I am interested in hearing from you what you would like to know more about in coaching, or if there are situations that a coactive approach may help. So, please let me know.
First Coactive Coaching tenant: Nobody gets to be wrong. Even when/if you are wrong, you are right. It is all a matter of perspective. Everyone is entitled to their perspective. Listen closely to the perspective being presented, and then be willing to share your perspective (or other perspectives). If both parties can approach with an open mind, they can hear many different views on the same thing.
Example: Take a look at a #2 pencil and describe it. It is yellow. It has a red eraser. It is a writing instrument. It is outdated and no longer used. What is a #2 pencil? It is 8 inches long before sharpening. It smells funny. What else?
Lesson: We can look at the same object/instance and see many different things. None of these observations (perspectives) is wrong. They are simply viewpoints. Celebrate that everyone can look at the same thing, and see it differently.
So, let me know what you would like to discuss and your comments/feedback.
Thanks for reading,