If you haven't gotten your new Second Life avatar all spiffied up yet with some new digital threads, you got "noob" written all over you.
Whatever you do, don't go to virtual Amsterdam.
You know that saying about if you don't know who the sucker in the room is it's probably you? That would be you the virtual Second Life noob in virtual Amsterdam.
Make sure you order mayonnaise with those virtual fries. You can not stand out at least that much.
No, you gotta get yourself at least a little 2L haute couture going on. And forget about all those virtual world naysayers. They haven't even found their way to the orientation trail yet.
Me, I'm still on the look out for a good digital felt Stetson hat, in case anybody knows of a Second Life western wear store.
Although with a couple of inches of ice on the ground, Interstate 10 shut down from San Antonio to Fort Stockton, Texas, and not having left my house in three days with a temperature in the high 20s, it's not exactly feeling like the wild southern frontier down here at the moment here in real world Austin.
What happened to global warming?
So, with the Big 2007 chill on, I wander aimlessly through Second Life, clueless as most of the rest of the noobs, trying to navigate my way to Virtual Sears (maybe I could just get a catalog???)
Although...drum roll, please....I did finally figure out how to sit down inside Second Life.
And a darned good thing, too...I'd been standing for several months and my legs were about to give out.
I'm just not sure what it says when it took me longer to learn how to sit down in the virtual world than it did in the real world.
Of course, I never got out of the first level of Myst, either, and didn't figure out the knave stole the tarts in "Alice in Wonderland" until the final dress rehearsal, and I was playing the White Rabbit.
So I'm a little slow. Shoot me.
Despite being one of the distributors of several original virtual worlds, mostly desktop bound, Electronic Arts is ready to pounce on the virtual worlds frenzy with "Sims Life Stories," a spin-off of "The Sims" (which, in case you have been hiding out in cyberspace somewhere, has sold more than 70M units).
So what's the story? Exactly.
Previously, The Sims had no real narrative structure, there was no storyline. It was a completely nonlinear experience. Kind of like this blog.
Now, The Sims virtual lives are gonna get a life and be broken out into 12-chapter story mode.
"I'll take 'Virtual Nervous Breakdowns on Wisteria Lane' for $500, Alex."
Have laptop, the new Sims will travel, no special graphics card required...unlike previous versions. This, too, is expected to go over well with the college digerati set.
Licentious romance, technological savvy, quick upward mobility...it all has the makings of an animated Hollywood virtual reality show movie...or something.
Can somebody please get Mark Burnett's agent on the phone??
Me, I'm holding out for "Sims Castaway Stories," due out in Winter 2008, which apparently takes a few pages from "Lost" and "Survivor."
Hey, as long as I can talk to Wilson the volleyball, life is good.
Remember Wilson from "Castaway," the movie starring Tom Hanks way back in the year 2000?
I know, I know, it was a long time ago, but just close your eyes and hearken back to that island out in the middle of nowhere, and you'll remember Wilson and Hanks' lengthy conversations.
Hanks did most of the talking.
Well, if you really think about it, virtual worlds are a lot like Wilson the volleyball.
Why would you want to befriend an inanimate object such as a virtual world or volleyball?
Well, an extreme lack of social contact, for one. To cope with extreme stress and separation from society, for another.
All this according to the extremely detailed and most thoughtful Wikipedia entry on Wilson the Volleyball.
You just go ahead and click on that link if you even think I'm kidding there's an entry on Wikipedia for Wilson the Volleyball, a non-talking inanimate character in a movie from 5 years ago and which helped Tom Hanks get an Oscar nomination for Best Actor.
So, all I'm saying is, we just have to find Wilson a good Stetson hat, too....it's awful bright out there on that island.
And to think, it all began with Hanks' character jokingly asking Wilson: "You wouldn't happen to have a match, would you?"
No? Too bad. I could sure use a fire about now.
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