Dude, I’m gettin’ a Dell!
Actually, I done got one. I just always wanted to say that and never could.
I was in a meeting in the Bay Area recently and somebody had a real purdy Dell laptop.
So I thought to myself, “Well, I don’t really need another computer, but that one sure is purdy, and I’d be helping the local Austin economy if I bought one.”
So, I did, via the Dell Outlet site. It was real easy.
And then I got the call from Citicard about a fraud alert.
A fraud. With my credit card? Mon dieu! I panicked and took the call.
Turns out, Dell had shopped their purchasing to another vendor, one not named Dell.
Well, that was confusing. But then I finally determined that the purchase in the fraud alert was indeed the one I had made.
To Citicard, it seemed like an anomalous purchase against my credit card profile, and so they had put a freeze on it just to be safe.
That's fine, that’s the way it’s supposed to work.
But when I told the Citicard agent to go ahead and put the order through, that all was okay in the world, they told me I had to call Dell.
No you did-n’t.
Uh, I stammered. You want me to call Dell?
As in, call them and try to speak to a human being there?
Why the ---- do you think I ordered this computer via the Web in the first place? I don't want to talk to anybody from Dell!!!
Haven’t you ever heard of Dell Hell, Lady?
I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but that’s exactly what happened. Over the next two hours, I called Dell’s 800 numbers three or four times.
Never once were they able to accomplish what’s known in the industry parlance as a “warm transfer.”
Never once did my confirmation of the order number get successfully transferred from one person to another.
Never once could I find anybody to help me get my credit card approved and the order pushed through. Not on the first go around, anyhow.
Never once could I get a clear line of sight to get my computer.
Dell had made it clear: They really didn’t want my money.
So much for helping the local Austin economy.
At the end of the day, I thought to myself, maybe I’ve been too hard on them. Maybe I should give them one more chance.
So, I did. I called at the end of the day, at the end of the day on a Friday, and I tried one last time.
I explained in plain English, as best I could, what had happened and what I was trying to do, and I said this directly: “I’m giving you people one last chance to take my money. Do you want to take it or not?”
The dude finally helped me, the order went through, and my new Dell laptop showed up yesterday (a week and a half in advance of the estimated delivery date), and most importantly, just in time for an outage on the VPN that supported my MacBook Pro.
Dude, I finally got a Dell, and so far, I have to say I really like it and it saved my productivity on Wednesday.
Now I’m just praying that I never, ever have to call Dell’s technical support. I don't think my blood pressure could take it.