Two ears, one mouth - guide for proper use
Jeffj2 060000A6C9 Tags:  communications coactive emoticons listening coaching 5 Comments 2,498 Views
Let's talk about listening. Situation: You are in a conference room or on a conference call. How are you listening to what is going on?
There are three levels of listening:
Level 1: Your attention is on you. This is where you are listening to all those wonderful voices in your head saying:
"She's wearing that? I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit. I wonder where she gets her clothes. Look at that haircut. Wait, when is my next appointment? Do I need to color my roots again?" or:
"This presentation again? Who does he think he is? I could have coded it in a fraction of the time that he is talking about it. Wait, am I going to get a todo from this? How will I get that done too with the other things on my plate?"
Note: These voices (or Gremlins/Saboteurs) are often much more critical than what is verbally spoken.
Level 2: Your attention is on the speaker/presenter/other person:
The experiment here is to close your laptop during the conference call and really listen to what the speaker is saying. You may drift into Level 1 thinking as you process what is being said, but by not multiplexing during the call; see how much more you pick up from the presentation/call.
Level 3: Your attention is focused on the energy of the call.
You are on a call, and someone says something extremely controversial. This is where "you could have heard a pin drop". That is the energy or Level 3 of the call. Where/When else do you pick up on the call energy?
So that's a summary of verbal listening. Since 90% of communication is visual (i.e. it is a lot easier to "hear" what is going on when you are in the conference room, versus being on the phone), how does listening extend to written format?
Let's look at a sametime example and how the use of emoticons helps convey the proper meaning of the written word.
Example #1: "Gee boss, thanks for the whoppertunity". Without an emoticon, you cannot fully "listen" to the context that was intended.
Example #2: "Gee boss, thanks for the whoppertunity". This emoticon helps us understand that the person is not overly pleased with this whoppertunity.
Example #3: "Gee boss, thanks for the whoppertunity".
This emoticon helps us understand that the person is thankful for this whoppertunity. So, same text in all examples, but more meaning conveyed by emoticons.
So, thanks for listening on this journey. What are your thoughts on better listening and tools of the trade?
Until next time,