December 15, 2014 | Written by: Gery Menegaz
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‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the cloud,
Not a techie was stirring, no keyboard nor mouse;
Social media campaigns crafted with care,
In hopes post-holiday sales soon would be there.
IBMers were nestled, all snug in their beds.
Visions of optimized workloads danced in their heads;
And the admin gave a key the slightest tap-tap,
Securing the cloud for a reliable snap.
When out on the raised floor arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my Aeron to see what was the matter.
Away to the door I flew like a flash (RAM),
Into the glass DC wall, my head did slam!
Flashing lights on the breast of system arrays,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to cloud chassis bays.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew it must be a gaseous halon leak.
I shook twice my head, rapid coursers still came,
And he whistled, and shouted cloud options by name:
“Now public! Now private! On-premises or off!
On! Virtual! Bare metal! Provisioning hands-off!
Lower barriers to entry, heed the cloud all!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
As bits flying through fiber, at the speed of light
With gigabit interface speeds, mounting to flight;
Up to the building-top the coursers they flew,
The sleigh full of systems—and St. Nicholas too.
And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
A chimney appeared, the big boy came with a bound.
He was dressed in IBM blue fur, head to foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of tech was flung on his back,
And big data, mobile, and more overflowed his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
I knew by the pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And halo that encircled his head like a wreath;
A chimney now stood where my desk used to be,
And he shook when he laughed while eyeballing me.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Let me know that I needed to lie down in bed!
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
Up the chimney he rose, as if in a dream.
He’d filled a stocking for me, and one for the team.
He sprung to his sleigh, and to his team called aloud,
And away they all flew on the soft down of cloud,
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all an economies of scale-achieving, infrastructure spend and capital cost-reducing, process-streamlining, accessibility-improving, project effectiveness-increasing, software license-minimizing, and flexibility-achieving, good (cloudy) night!”
(Check out last year’s version of Gery Menegaz’s “‘Twas the cloudy night before Christmas“)